Sense of Decency

By JIM McKEEVER

We create false worlds to survive.

I guess this has always been the case, human nature and all. But as humanity and collective empathy crumble around us, the false worlds we create have become more apparent. And more dangerous.

How much time, energy and money do we devote to things that distract us from the real world?

Sports. Netflix. Amazon. Alcohol. “Reality” TV. Social media and other addictions.

Meanwhile, wars, suffering, starvation and death are all around us — not exactly hiding in plain sight, given the reach of technology. On Instagram and TikTok these days, it doesn’t take much effort to find horrific photos and videos of torture, death and destruction.

But most of us look away, building a wall, as it were, around our hearts and minds.

Our souls as gated communities.

But walls and gates not only keep “bad” things out, they keep good things in — unused, wasted.

Is this self-preservation, or just plain selfish?

I’m just as guilty as anyone else. 

Every year I care way too much about my fantasy football team, a hobby even more questionable than investing huge amounts of emotion into a real team of millionaires that actually competes on a field.

I don’t have to look far to see people avoiding reality in other ways — gambling, obsessing over their personal appearance or the latest celebrity “influencer,” posting and sharing insipid comments on Facebook or Nextdoor.

Whatever happened to “live deliberately” and “The unexamined life is not worth living”? 

Are we that far gone as a culture, as a species, that most of us are just in it for ourselves?

Where is the line separating self-preservation from selfishness? 

For decades, bookstores have offered entire sections of shelves devoted to “Self Help.”  Why is there no such thing as a “Help Others” section?

Maybe we rationalize our distractions, these false worlds, as an attempt to seek “balance” in our lives. In some cases, that’s a defensible argument. 

There are good people among us who are in the midst of a particularly difficult time emotionally, physically or financially, and cannot cope with what’s going on out there.  

I have empathy for them — but not for those who simply “don’t want to deal with it” and go on their merry way, living what amounts to an unexamined, shallow life.

Which brings me to some simple suggestions on how to engage with and confront the real world.  

— Seek out photos and videos from journalists all over the world showing suffering and death caused by people in power. Don’t look away, as tempting as it is. This is reality.

— Initiate a conversation with someone who doesn’t look like you. Or live like you. 

— Find a community of people who are trying to do something good for others, especially those who don’t look or live like you.

— Don’t settle for simple answers that fit your existing beliefs. Question everything and everybody, especially those you agree with.

— Interact with people who are unhoused, the men and women holding cardboard signs at street corners.

— Become active in politics, at any level.

— Look up. Look around. Pay attention.

Joan Báez once said, “Action is the antidote to despair.” 

It’s also the antidote to fear.

Jim McKeever is a co-founder of Sense of Decency.